What Does Saying Yes to Yourself as a Dancer Actually Mean?
“Saying yes to yourself” sounds lovely, doesn’t it? It’s the kind of phrase we hear often—encouraging, inspiring, maybe even a little vague.
What does it actually mean in the context of a dance career?
Let’s break it down. Because saying yes to yourself isn't just a mindset—it’s a series of small, intentional actions that build momentum toward becoming the dancer you envision.
1. Gaining More Knowledge
Just because you don’t know how to do something yet, doesn’t mean you can’t learn!
Every single person on this planet was born knowing next to nothing. What we are born with curiosity and a capacity to learn. Anything that you want to learn how to do is within your reach.
Maybe your dream is to dance for a company known for its Balanchine repertoire, but your training hasn’t included much Balanchine technique. That doesn’t mean the dream is out of reach. It just means that you need to seek out a summer program, workshop or other training opportunity that will open the right doors.
Or maybe you want to start teaching but you don’t know how to bridge the gap between being a dancer to a teacher. Pursue a dance teacher certification or ask a trusted mentor if you can shadow their classes or assistant teach. There are so many ways to learn the skill you need!
Say yes to yourself by seeking out the knowledge you need to make your dreams happen. It means signing up for the class, asking questions, and investing in the education that moves you closer to your goal.
(Psst…in my free download Dancing Through Summer: A Professional Dancer’s Guide to the Off Season, I share 35+ opportunities that will help you gain the knowledge you need to propel your dance career forward.)
2. Putting in the Work
You’ve probably heard some version of the saying, “The harder I work, the luckier I get.”
I want you to be incredibly honest with yourself about whether or not you have put in the work necessary to build the dance career you want.
Are you actually doing the work that aligns with your goals, or are you just spinning your wheels? Are you making intentional choices that are setting you up for your version of success?
You also need to ask yourself: are you making space for rest and recovery, or are you pushing past the point of productivity?
Let’s be clear: working harder doesn’t mean burning yourself out. Effort matters. So does balance. Say yes to yourself by working smarter.
3. Going to the Audition
Go to the audition you think is a long shot. Send in your materials even if you think there’s no chance. Reapply even if they said no before.
In Episode 39 of The Brainy Ballerina Podcast, guest Emily Speedy shares how she rose to the rank of soloist with Colorado Ballet after initially being let go as a young dancer. Her story proves that sometimes “no” is actually a “not right now”.
I know putting yourself out there is hard. Humans are wired to fear rejection because for most of our evolutionary history, being part of a group was essential for survival. Rejection didn’t just mean hurt feelings back then; it could literally mean life or death.
Fortunately, that’s not the reality we live in these days. When putting yourself out there, truly the worst they can say is no. Which, by the way, is the same response you would get if you didn’t put yourself out there at all.
Say yes to yourself by doing the brave thing and going all in.
4. Setting Boundaries
This one can be the hardest, especially in a field that often asks dancers to be “easy to work with” at all costs.
Saying yes to yourself might look like walking away from a toxic environment. It might mean speaking up when something feels wrong. It might even mean leaving behind something you’ve outgrown.
Listen to your gut. If something feels off, trust that nudge. Sometimes saying yes to yourself means saying no to someone—or something—else.
5. Creating the Thing You Wish Existed
Maybe the opportunity you want just doesn’t exist yet.
So what? Create it.
Say yes to yourself by doing the brave thing:
Start the company you want to join
Gather your friends and choreograph the show you want to perform in
Rent the studio and teach the class you wish someone else offered
I could have really used a service like The Brainy Ballerina when I was a young dancer. As a retired professional, I realized that I had all the knowledge, gumption and work ethic to make it happen - I just had to say yes to my big idea.
Say yes to yourself by creating opportunities to do the work that is meaningful to you.
6. Asking For Help
Sometimes saying yes to yourself means valuing your growth enough to ask for help. The dance world is small and there’s so many people out there who are willing to support you on your journey. Whether it’s asking an older dancer for support, adding private lessons to your schedule, or investing in working with a Dance Career Mentor.
You have to be willing to admit that you’ve gone as far as you can on your own and it’s time to get some more support. Investing in yourself is a choice that will pay you back dividends - I have regretted impulsively buying a new leotard I didn’t need but I have never regretted spending money on my personal growth. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak or incapable - it makes you smart! And it just might be the push you need.
You’re going to hear “no” many times in your dance career. But the most important thing is this:
Never be the one to say no to yourself.
Meet the Author
Caitlin Sloan is a Dance Educator and Career Mentor based in Madison, WI.
Caitlin received her Bachelor of Arts in Dance from Grand Valley State University and Graduate Certificate in Nonprofit Management from the University of Missouri.
She danced professionally for nine years with companies including Ballet Tucson and Missouri Contemporary Ballet (now Mareck Dance). Caitlin has taught at schools all over the Midwest, most notably serving as Director of The School of Missouri Contemporary Ballet and Youth Company Director for Central Indiana Dance Ensemble. She is currently on faculty at the School of Madison Ballet.
Caitlin founded The Brainy Ballerina® in 2019, a virtual resource providing support and guidance for aspiring ballet dancers. Follow @thebrainyballerina on Instagram for your daily dose of dance career guidance and inspiration.
